Life experience in CE as a conductor

When I first arrived as a fully qualified conductor from Hungary to the western part of the world I experienced a huge difference between the behaviour of the local and the Hungarian trained colleagues. Independent from their real knowledge of the profession most of the West trained co-workers have a higher level of self-confidence than the others. They were always ready to put forward their ideas, had the confidence to say what they wanted, without being self critical like we Hungarians can be. This behaviour shocked me at first. Then, critically, I took a step back and asked myself: “ Isn’t this maybe the behaviour that brings forth good ideas?”
Later I found out that generally speaking, we Hungarians were much more self critical of what we were doing and saying, so therefore our professional style of communication was not always appropriate to the situation we were now in of adapting CE abroad. We can address this issue as cultural differences that emerge from upbringing, education and culture. Differences in how we expect our children to act, differences in what teachers expect from pupils in different situations and differences in how the community expect us to behave.
However, to find a healthy balance is always difficult, especially if you travel abroad for work.
No doubt, individually there is a huge difference between people’s emotional and social intelligence. Even if they come from the same planet so to make a judgement is not necessarily a good idea. Still, some people’s huge confidence in their professional knowledge continuously annoys me, especially when these people are unable to respect others’ thoughts, unable to discuss subjects, to compromise or simply listen and think. Many times these people are the “winners” because they are “strong enough”. I write “strong enough” because I think there is a pinch of arrogance added to high level of self-confidence. Not long ago I ran a small group of stroke clients and adults with acquired head injured. I had the idea, because it was a sweet little group and a great challenge to work with that I would take us on a special journey, a journey “Back to the past”. I went to the Maria Hari Library, Budapest last year at Easter and dug out an old task series, written by Dr. Andras Peto himself, for stroke clients. I used it to create my complex programme for group mentioned above. I had one two hour session with them each week. I learnt that coincidently Peto had also seen his ‘patients’ in the 1950’s only once or twice a week at his clinic – which anyway was his place.
I was excited to use the information I had found.
There was only one thing that I wanted to change. I wished to use a modern Aphasia programme since in this area science has changed a lot. After some searching I found many works on Aphasia and the developing ideas and testing methods. Finally, I have chosen AT 1 and AT 2 computer software programmes combining with some “classic” activities linked to everyday activities and speech.

I then put the routine/programme together:
• Arrive at session.
• Settle down and get ready for the session. This involves changing clothes and taking shoes and socks off.
• Breathing programme,
• Lying programme starting from sitting position,
• Coffee time.
• Aphasia programme sitting at the table - communication.
• Standing programme.
• Individual programme – walking in different circumstances, with ladder-back chair, on slope, stairs.
• Sitting programme at the table combined with fine motor activities and speech programme.
• Practice (all sorts)
• Walking out.

Between the task series and activities we had to always change places with the “given” individual way. Yes, it was quite busy for that two hours but we all loved it and could do it. The participants were happy coming week by week. The results spoke for themselves and they were documented. Both clients showed great emotional, social and physical achievements.
The lying, standing, sitting at the table and individual walking tasks were taken strictly from Peto’s written documents from the HM Library. The aphasia programme and interaction time was crucial since that was the time they could openly share many things with each other and with me. I quite liked it as it really was a journey to the past through the task series.
The conclusion it was after I was separated from that group that my professionally very confident, young colleague, but without the knowledge that it was a special journey with those people, changed the complex programme. She criticized the old one without any communication with me (for example not asking what I had done and why).
This fact made me angry at first but then I smiled and I thought; possibly Dr. Petö András himself would not be good enough, experienced enough for this enthusiastic, professionally very confident and arrogant colleague. I do not wish however to write about this case, but about the phenomenon. I strongly believe that the exaggerated confidence of the profession and arrogance are not what will bring Conductive Education to the best acceptance in Hungary or to the rest of the world. Ironically enough, from what I've experienced I think “huge professional confidence” and arrogance actually comes from insecurity. People who act like this I think have been put down a lot or have had inadequate amounts of emotional, psychological support and have the need to make them feel secure about themselves. At a certain point, when their self-esteem is so low, it's natural for them to protect themselves emotionally from getting hurt any further by exhibiting superiority or arrogance over others. At the moment they are recognized for one of their strengths or abilities, the full blown confidence makes up for their lack of confidence in everything else. In a way, its the mind's natural self-defense mechanism. The whole case is raising a question. How should we act as a Conductor, Conductive Education Teacher to our own colleagues? Well, one supposes to say that the Code of Practice gives us a great direction. It certainly does but where is the border of acceptance?

I can not express enough how important/ good/useful to have great team spirit in CE. I mean between colleagues and of course between participants, too. How crucial is to find the best personal fit to get out the best performance of our team. In an effective relationship parties listen to understand others’ positions and feelings. The simplest way to understand what is important to another person or to a group is to ask, then listen to the answer. We all know (even feel), when someone else is really interested in us. The other person is attentive, does not interrupt, does not fidget and does not speak about him or herself most of the time. This gives us time to think and feel accepted, rather than be judged. Listening leads to understanding; if you understand someone else fully, then you know what to do to get closer and work better together.
In effective relationships, parties openly express their positions and feelings without the fear what could happen if their ideas a bit different from the others. Sometimes we expect people – particularly those close to us at home or work – to understand what we want and to give us what we need intuitively. This is not a realistic aspiration. People are so complicated and react to events in such different ways that even when they have lived together for 60 years they can still surprise each other. We need to say what we need and to express how we feel. By doing this we are more likely to get what we want, rather than expecting someone to notice what we want, then waiting for that person to give it to us.
In order to make our relationships more effective, we should treat ourselves and each other with respect. Respect is the core of any good relationship. We show respect by listening to the other person and by trying to understand how they view things. Quickly forming judgements based on prejudice is the complete opposite of respect. You can respect people (even if you find their behaviour difficult to understand) by acknowledging that they are doing the best they can when their circumstances and history are taken into account.
Respect is the foundation for a strong relationship – and this means respecting yourself as well as others. If you feel good about yourself, it is much easier to see the good in people and treat them with respect.
Another key to forming effective relationships is to face differences directly. Differences between people are interesting. In a conversation where each person listens to the others, you may each discover a new truth that integrates (say) two opposing perspectives. This is more rewarding than the alternatives – for example, withdrawing, fighting, grumbling to someone else or plotting. Learning to face differences takes time and can be uncomfortable, but confronting and attempting to understand them is a good, stretching discomfort.
Work towards solutions where both parties win. I believe profoundly that win–win solutions are possible and they should always be our goal. If we both feel we have gained from resolving a difference, then we will be more willing to co-operate again in future. This builds exciting and satisfying relationships.
How great to work in an environment like that? Very, very lucky.
I personally did have a luck to try working in different type of settings in CE throughout the last 15 years. Although I worked most of the time with conductors I saw, experienced both hell and haven.

At the moment I feel very lucky again.